New Friends - Week 3

I have new friends today. Suzie and Ron, as well as a few nurses that I am certain are angels in disguise. Seriously - To be a nurse at the oncology unit of Mercy and be around life and death to that degree, takes a special kind of person. The kind of person who knows how to shut people out, becoming jaded and protected from the continual heart breaking faces of the people who are dying, or the kind of person who knows no other way, but to live with the type of selfless compassion that strives to effect others lives for the better even if it just means giving a warm blanket, or a warm chocolate brownie for a couple seconds of relief and a smile. Maybe I see my new found reality with rose colored glasses, and it really is “just a job”, but they have got me fooled. Suzie and Ron are fellow cancer patients enduring various regimes of Chemotherapy. Ron is an old man who has been battling different forms of cancer for 2 years. He is mid height, thin, and is very friendly. Ron cares deeply for others. He was quite hopeful and optimistic about life, and was very interested in me, yet was cautious not to pry. I could tell that he had a genuine interest in the welfare of the other patients in the unit and wanted to befriend as many people as he could. Ron is wise I am looking forward to our paths crossing over the weeks to come. Suzie was starting Chemo for her first day. Suzie has Breast Cancer, and I could tell that she was afraid. To most people in the unit, I am the “young Lance Armstrong kid”, which is a really good nick name if you think about it. Although I have not been in my treatment long, I am 2 weeks ahead of Suzie, and hoped to give her some encouraging words for the week ahead of her. She was a middle aged woman, and appeared to be healthy. She still had her hair, and told me that she would be shaking her head tomorrow. We talked briefly, and Marlene (a nurse that is also a cancer survivor) told Suzie about my blog and we agreed to become Facebook friends.


I had been under the impression that the Chemotherapy regiment for Testicular cancer was not that bad. I guess I had thought that because Testicular cancer is so treatable, that the chemo regiment would be light and easy. I have since learned that up until the mid 80’s, to get Testicular cancer was a death sentence. Dr. Einhorn in Indiana found that Cisplatin, a platinum based drug, cured testicular cancer, and since using the various chemo drugs to treat TC, men have lived long happy lives. However, this chemo regiment is brutal. For 5 days in a row they pump you full of Cisplatin and Etopocide for 5 hours. They can only do this every 21 days though, because the drugs drop your white and red blood cells to the point of becoming dangerous. The lining in your throat gets weakened making it sore, you usually get sores in your mouth, and become susceptible to infections. Your hair falls out because of your platelets dropping to such low levels, and your teeth and fingernails do weird things too. Insomnia, severe constipation, nausea, ringing ears, coughing up black stuff, bloody noses, loss of libido and severe fatigue/tiredness are the almost definite side effects of this regiment. I start my second cycle next week, and up to this point I have not experienced much nausea, and thank God for that! I have had a terrible time sleeping and have had many sleepless nights. I have also experienced ringing ears to the point of being very uncomfortable, joint pains, and working 4 hours feels like a 12 hour day.

As I start my regime next week, I am prepared for what the old chemo pros call “the hump”, which is the second round of chemo. From there I will almost be half way and can set my mind on the good things to come. I decided that while I am going through this, I am going to try to the best of my ability to make new friends, encourage others, and let God use me in this place. I am not doing this because I am noble, but because I know that it is the solution. Happiness and peace are a byproduct of right living, and being of service to my fellow man has always helped me to somehow forget about my problems and be momentarily freed from the bondage of self centeredness.

I will meditate on this classic Catholic prayer from St. Francis of Assisi

"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace –
that where there is hatred, I may bring love –
that where there is wrong,
I may bring the spirit of forgiveness –
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony –
that where there is error, I may bring truth –
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith –
that where there is despair, I may bring hope –
that where there are shadows, I may bring light –
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted –
to understand, than to be understood –
to love, than to be loved.
For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen."