The road turns.

I decided to create a blog. I have a few blogs already, but they are related to business and other things, so I wanted to create one for everything else..

I woke up this morning at 4am for some reason and couldn't shut my mind off. Why not start a blog? After all what else is there to do @ 4am?

I started reading Lance Armstrong's book last night "Its not about the bike".. Wow! I am sure a lot of people say this, but I really identify with his story. (besides the whole Tour De France part). But he goes right into the wild ride of having testicular cancer. All the way from having one of his testes removed, to the fears and uncertainty of his very near future. He talks about having to freeze sperm @ a sperm bank, and does not leave out an x-ray, or a blood test to his journey through cancer and treatment. I have been reading a lot of spiritual, business, and sales books for so long now, that I forgot what it was like to read anything else. My friend Jeremy who is also going through Chemo brought it by my office yesterday. What a gift!

It has been three days since I found out that the cancer has returned. I had my first appt with my oncologist on Tues. His name is Dr. Figuerero and he seems to know what he is doing. I did my checking up on him though :-) Lucky for me I have several family members in the medicine field, and a friend who is a respected cardiologist here in California. After getting a couple of second opinions, and praying, I feel that this is the right road for me.

My soon to be wife (sooner or later now), and my family met me @ Solace Cancer Care in Redding. After waiting for nearly an hour, Dr. Fig came in and discussed my case with me. He basically told me that they could not find the cancer yet, but after doing an MRI on my head, and a chest X-Ray, he believed they would find it. He then discussed treatment options. I was hoping that I would get away with some mild Chemo, maybe 1- 2 weeks worth, or possibly a 96 hour blast of it once every 2 weeks. The actual treatment seems much more complex than that. I will be admitted to the hospital for 5 days in a row every 1st week of the month and will be injected for 5 hours a day. Then the following three weeks of the month, I will go in every Monday for a 2 hour dose of some more.:-) In order to save my veins from blowing out, they are going to insert a port into my chest that will go into my jugular vein and down to the top of my heart. This will go on for three months. He then told me that I would be as good as sterile after the treatment. He actually said "you will be shooting blanks", so if you want to have kids someday you will have to go to the nearest sperm bank and freeze some away.. Sounds fun right?

After discussing all of this for about 2 hours, you feel like going to sleep for 3 days. Its a lot to process.

Oh yea, and I am going to lose all of my hair! I went to the stylist today and got a haircut. I had her cut it real short, and am hoping that I can kind of step it down over the next couple of weeks. I have never seen my head shaved bald before, so this ought to be an interesting time. I have a lot of cool hats if I end up looking like Dr Evil from Austin Powers.

I have decided to fast and pray for three days. Heather is joining me, and we are going to be praying over Matthew 11:28 from the Message..

Matthew 11:28
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

I am still very hopeful, and in the midst of all this craziness I have peace and feel incredibly blessed. Over the first couple of days, I was wondering if I was just in denial or something, but it hasn't gone away yet so I think that I may really be that awesome!! haha.. Don't I sound humble? Anyways, there are some major decisions that I am considering making, so your prayers and thoughts are totally felt and actually DO make a difference.

I believe that the peace I have today is a direct result of all the prayers from my dearest friends and family who have begged God to save this crazy kid named Chris for years . Thank you :-)

Peace and Grace,